Homily on Mk 12:38-44

Attended mass at St Joseph Church (SJC) at Upper Bukit Timah Road this morning. Homily was given by Fr Edmund - glad to be able to hear his homily again after so many years. The last time I rem a powerful homily from him was at Church of Christ the King (CTK) years ago when he was a parish priest there.

He focused on the 'giving' of the widow mentioned in the Gospel. When we received things, our hands are clutched. The action of grabbing parallels the 'it's-mine-no-one-can-take-it-from-me' attitude, one of not being able to let go. In contrary to the action of receiving, when we give, our palms are opened. There is more power in this action cos we are able to 'let go' and 'have more'.

Fr Edmund then shared the story about a man (think his name is John Edmund something) who died on his way to charity. This was a man who was able to thank God for everything and gave willingly from his heart. For e.g. if his family and him were spared from a calamity/illness, he would donate to the church the amount of $ that would have been consumed if the calamity/illness had befallen on them. His family and him were so blessed that when disaster struck, his house was the only one miraculously undamaged and the whole family also seldom fell ill.

The priest also told us to give without reserve/expectation for rewards and most importantly without ulterior motive cos this sort of giving doesnt go well for God. It is wrong to give in the hope that God wld bless us ten folds.

The homily concluded with Fr Edmund mentioning that there are ple who only know how to receive during their whole lifetime. Till the point they expired, went into the coffin and carried into the church expecting ple to hold masses for them, for their poor souls, cos they feel that they are so poor and so in need of ple's prayer for their souls.

Sitting at the front pew, I was awashed by a sudden wave of guilt. The homily struck a familiar chord in me - I do not deny that I am more of a recipient than a donor. Ever since i started school, the survival instinct grew so strong that I would (will) guard my interest so as not to let people take advantage of me. Now into worklife, the ugly gene still surfaces on the train platform...when I am fighting to be the one who put the first foot into the train during the peak of the morning hours...

Glad to have attended this mass. Seldom do I remember what was said during the homily esp when my eyelids were half drooping. Heh, this is definitely a milestone for me.

Strolling out of the church, I started to contemplate how I could yank that ugly gene out of me. It was then I suddenly remembered that my rosary was still in my bag begging for the priest's blessing. Yes, to start praying for conversion and salvation for my soul...