Reflection on Fasting

Last Friday mass reading was about Fasting, and a new wine
Luke 5:33-39. I would like to share a little of my journey on how I learnt about fasting, and how it helps me in my spiritual life.

When I was a child, as a catholic, I always noticed that the people around me (the older one) fast during lent. I didn’t know why, but I want to follow them. I didn’t get a chance of course, since my parents didn’t allow me. Only until I grew up a little bit, then I started to learn to fast.

But my first moment when I learnt to fast was when I was in a youth catholic charismatic prayer group. They asked me to join a ministry, called “prayer and fasting”, something like that. And there were only two members in that ministry, the head of the ministry, and me. And the head of the ministry often joked to me saying, “I pray, you fast!”.

I recall one moment during school holiday and I tried to fast. I tried to fast not only on the food, but I decided also to let go some of the things that I like most. I decided not to open my computer and not to read any computing books. You might thing I am weird. But if you know me well, I love playing computer, and reading a lot, especially reading computing books. But I soon to discover that letting go things is not enough. I need to replace them. So I decided whenever I fast, instead of reading computer books, I will read spiritual books This was the first time I learnt to read spiritual books in my life.

Believe it or not it was quite a struggle in the beginning, but spending time reading spiritual books really changed me a lot. I became to desire the Lord more. I became to know him more. I began to see the life of the saints who love God so much. And I wanted to be like them. After sometimes, I didn’t realize that I didn’t struggle anymore to say no to playing computer (or reading computer books :p ).

Now, back to the Gospel reading. In the Gospel Reading in Luke, we read how the pharisees asked Jesus, why John’s desciples and the pharisees fast, but Jesus’ disciples do not. Jesus answer is rather strange,

“Can you make wedding guests fast while the bridegroom is with them? The days will come, when the bridegroom is taken away from them, and then they will fast in those days.”

One day I attended a mass celebrated by Fr. Joe, OFM. The gospel reading for that Sunday was this one about fasting. And he spoke something I never realized before, and it’s about what it means to fast.

He shared that the objective of fasting is unitive. Wow, what’s that mean? *this was what I thought that time* Fr. Joe shared that while Jesus was with the disciples, they cannot fast, because they are united with Jesus. But the time will come, when they will be separated, and then they will fast. Jesus explains the purpose of fasting is unitive, that the “end” of our fasting journey is to be “united” again with the Lord.

And I guess that’s how Jesus answered the Pharisees. The pharisees where asking why everyone is doing this and you don’t. Well, aren’t we sometimes like that? We fast, because everyone else is doing that? We simply follow the rule. But Jesus answered that fasting is not about rules, but about relationship! He put fasting in the context of friendship! He reminded the pharisees the end of fasting, which is to be united with the one they love, the bridegroom.

This really opened my eyes. I sometimes see that we fast as an obligation (to be good catholic?). We fast, because we are told to fast, or because everyone else is doing that. But fasting is beyond all these. Fasting is to be more united with the Lord. It is an anticipation. It is a sacrifice. Now, as I began to reflect my experiences when I fasted. Indeed, it brings me closer to the one that I love. As I let go some of the good things in life, and replace it with something that draws me closer to the Lord (remember the computer thing? :p), I began to be drawn closer to the Lord.

I shared this with one of my sister and brother. I shared to them it’s just like a couple who fall in love. The man will sacrifice his hobby, his time, and his money, so that one day he will be able to give more to the one he loves, so that one day he will be able to build a house for the bride.

A fast is never just something “against”, but also something “for”. It is not enough for us to fast “against” food or expensive stuffs, but we need to fast “for” the Lord, and give the money that we sacrifice “for” the poor. Just as it is not enough to fast against spending time in front of computer, if we do not spend enough time for the Lord.

There is always the “for” part of fasting. And this is something that we, like the pharisees, tend to forget.  Fasting, as with any other sacrifices, is about love. And we can’t love if there is no object of love. Fasting reminds us of our end, of our object for love. It is an anticipation that now we sacrifice, so that we can love more, we can give ourselves more.

Now I began to understand why we fast before receiving Holy Communion. Not because everyone else does that. But because I want to sacrifice something good for the better. I want to hunger for the one that I love. I want to remind my self for that end of which I am created for, and that is to be united with the one I love. I sacrifice so that I can give more. More of my self.

Those who never sacrifice, will never learn to give of themselves. They will just live a life for themselves. But as we learn to sacrifice, we learn to give more of our selves. The more we sacrifice,
the more we give. And that is how Jesus gives himself to us, he sacrifice everything, even his own life.

Now I also I began to understand that fasting doesn’t always mean sacrificing against something bad, but also something good. Food is good, but there is a better food, which is the Word of God. Marriage is good, but some people sacrifice marriage for the Wedding feast of the Lamb, the heavenly marriage which we are all called to. Fasting helps us to see beyond this material world. It opens our eyes to the spiritual reality and the life which we are called to. Men does not live on bread alone. Where else can we understand this, except by fasting and eating the Word of God instead. Fasting heals our blindness. It heals our eyes to see the spiritual reality of God’s magnificent love.

And as our spiritual eyes opens, we began to see the one we love even more clearly. How many of us long to see Jesus? How many of us long to be united to Jesus?

As I learn to fast, and not just during Lent, the Lord reminds me of my calling. And I desire this more than anything else. How I long to be united more and more to the Lord. How I long to see him more clearly. How I long to hear his voice even more louder.

It is just as someone speaks to you in a crowd with a lot of noise. As I stop listening to all the noise, I can listen better to the one who is speaking to me.  Aren’t we all in this big crowd that keep on yelling to us a lot of things, success, power, career, money, self-indulgence, pride. Can we hear the voice of the Beloved? Fasting helps me to stop listening to the desires of the flesh, and to start listening to the one that I love.

This is what the Lord has led me. And I know he will lead me further as he will do with you. As I fast, I desire the Lord more and more. I can experience the cry of the early Christians when they celebrated the Eucharist.  And together with all the Christians of all ages I too want to cry out, “Maranatha”, Come Lord, Jesus! Come to your bride! Come, Lord Jesus!

Closing note: When I read this canticle, it reminds me of what fasting is all about, the desire, the anticipation, the waiting. You may want to read it slowly and several times to enjoy it.

Song of Songs Chapter 2

[7] I adjure you, O daughters of Jerusalem,
by the gazelles or the hinds of the field,
that you stir not up nor awaken love
until it please.
[8] The voice of my beloved!
Behold, he comes,
leaping upon the mountains,
bounding over the hills.
[9] My beloved is like a gazelle,
or a young stag.
Behold, there he stands
behind our wall,
gazing in at the windows,
looking through the lattice.
[10] My beloved speaks and says to me:
“Arise, my love, my fair one,
and come away;
[11] for lo, the winter is past,
the rain is over and gone.
[12] The flowers appear on the earth,
the time of singing has come,
and the voice of the turtledove
is heard in our land.
[13] The fig tree puts forth its figs,
and the vines are in blossom;
they give forth fragrance.
Arise, my love, my fair one,
and come away.
[14] O my dove, in the clefts of the rock,
in the covert of the cliff,
let me see your face,
let me hear your voice,
for your voice is sweet,
and your face is comely.
[15] Catch us the foxes,
the little foxes,
that spoil the vineyards,
for our vineyards are in blossom.”
[16] My beloved is mine and I am his,
he pastures his flock among the lilies.
[17] Until the day breathes
and the shadows flee,
turn, my beloved, be like a gazelle,
or a young stag upon rugged mountains.